i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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