your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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