just tell him i said nine months
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Pooping to opera.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
