Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
