This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
