He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
