I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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