I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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