Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
