im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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