he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
