I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
