Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
