i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize