i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He's on the porch naked. Help.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
