if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Alive.
So much puke
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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