im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize