She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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