my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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