I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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