dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
