also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
