Please don't use social media to get back at me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
