He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So vagazzling was a success
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
