She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Randomize
