Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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