At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
