we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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