It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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