I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
