oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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