The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize