would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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