I have demons in me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
