If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
