u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
