The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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