he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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