Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
