worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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