Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
