in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
