woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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