She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
smell my finger.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
