She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
