Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
