do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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