Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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