Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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