very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
