just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
