The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
