some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
