and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
