Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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