We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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