Screwed.edu
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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