if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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