Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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